miércoles, 23 de setiembre de 2009

Truth

I need this space to be mine again. I need to speak truths that are mine and not be afraid of hurting my loved ones' feelings. I need to be able to say fuck and not be worried it may come back to haunt me ten years from now. I was going to start an anonymous blog but it just isn't my style. I have always put myself last, always protected others, always being the adult in every tough situation. But I am who I am. It is my turn now. My turn to share my true feelings, my true thoughts, my anger, my sadness and my happiness too (her name is Lucia) with people who will understand, people who won't judge, people who will cheer me on and cheer me up when I need it, and people who will tell me when I am out of line. So I invited a few people to share this space with me. I hope they will. And that's the truth.



martes, 4 de agosto de 2009

Letter to my web log

Dear LUM,
I am so sorry I abandoned you. I can imagine how upset you would be if you were capable of feeling anything. Good thing you are only my words. I make you. I build you. And then I disappear for a few weeks. It isn't that I don't love you, it is that I never make time for myself, most of the time I don't wear any makeup and my hair isn't very well groomed, I wear the same pair of jeans every day because they are all I have that will fit; sometimes I don't have time to even take a shower. Because I give myself to my work and my daughter and I disappear (there's that word again) behind all of it. I am barely a wife anymore. I am barely me anymore. But this is my space, damn it! And I want it back and I want to write and be happy about it. So I'll try. Again.

Maddie's family needs your help