lunes, 21 de julio de 2008

The Woe Is Me Post

I haven't posted in nearly one month. I have tried but could not come up with anything I felt okay to post. My mind has been occupied with thoughts of survival. And nobody really wants to hear how bad things are for somebody else, they probably think "I have my own problems to deal with" and I can't really blame them. But then there's reality. And it is this: our money situation is unsustainable. Big T can only work 12 to 16 hours a week, he has to take care of Lu the rest of the time and he can only make so much an hour because of work experience, skills, etc. "Etc." in this scenario being he is too [insert word here] to even apply for other jobs. He is too scared, or too jaded, or afraid he couldn't do the job if he gets it, or something that I can't understand, but he just won't go for it and it has driven us into a ditch. Our bank account is constantly overdrawn, our bills are constantly late or go unpaid, and as of today we cannot come up with the $665 to pay for daycare for Lu in August, which would mean losing her spot. It is truly stressful to say the least.

The one thing in life that is truly free is dreaming. So if I could have anything it would be this: we make enough money to send Lu to daycare. We pay our bills on time. We can even afford to live in a two bedroom apartment! If our cats get sick, we can take them to the vet without fear of depleting whatever money is there. We can actually save money, no living paycheck to paycheck. We could afford to buy a bike trailer and wheels for my bicycle so we can ditch our car. We could visit my family (whether in Vancouver, Orange County, Miami, or Chile.) We would not have to file for bankruptcy. I could go to law school. Big T could go to EMT school. I would have a second baby before I turn 40.

We don't have cable and I am fine with that, Netflix is way cheaper. We do need cell phones. We could try to sell our car but we just got it 5 months ago and no one will pay us enough to cover the balance on the loan. I could go on and on but I am sure you have stopped reading already because, I know, what a downer. I am sorry. This is all I can think of all day and sometimes all night too. It is practically killing me. And I don't see a way out, I just don't know what else to do.

So, yes, woe is me. Hope your summer is going much, much better.

12 comentarios:

LisaS dijo...

hang in there! finding the courage to face it is the big step--you've figured out what to do, so go for it!

(nice thing about having a blog is getting a personal cheering gallery.)

happy ICLW!

Star dijo...

Wow, a very timely post for me -- I recently posted about a similar issue. For us, we are greatly in debt and I am out of work. Here from ICLW. Just wanted to say that I totally hear you. There are few things worse than having financial problems -- it's hard to talk about with very many people, and it makes you feel trapped. Other people in your life who are doing well don't understand why you can't afford to go out to dinner with them or travel to see them on holidays. Here's hoping that things get better soon for both of us.

Listen Up, MoFos! dijo...

Thanks! It helps to get encouragement like this! I'd love to comment on your blogs but can't find a link to them. You can email me a link to listenupmofos [at] gmail [dot] com. Thanks again!

Kate dijo...

Here from ICLW. I am really sorry that you are having a hard time. Money trouble is so, so stressful.

shawna dijo...

Hang in there! I have been there, and frequently still visit that horrible place of brokeville. I will praying that things get better soon.

Kymberli dijo...

First, I love the name of your blog.

Second, I do a lot of dream-escapism, too. Even if that's all there is to hand on to, it's better than nothing. Thinking of you and hoping that there are better days somewhere close ahead.

Michelle dijo...

Hang in there. You are right, it is good to dream, and dream big! I came over from ICLW. I really believe that you can turn around your life with positive thought and hard work. So, good luck to you.

thatcoolbroad dijo...

hang in there sweetie...and though it's hard, focus on what's really good in your life right now (your beautiful little girl, your health, the fact that when you go to sleep LiLo shows up in her infamous leggings...just kidding on that last one:)

Life's full of peaks and valleys and even though sometimes the valleys seem really, really, low...somehow, there's always a peak around the corner.

xoxo
tcb
www.thatcoolbroad.com

momofonefornow dijo...

Hi, over from ICLW,

My dh and I went through similar circumstances and it is unbearably difficult. You have every right to complain about it and I bet you will be surprised at how many people are willing to listen. Hang in there.

Katie dijo...

Via IComLeavWe....
Hang on in there. You are not the only people in this situation. Keep looking for solutions. There are loads of websites out there with some really helpful advice on them.

Michelle dijo...

here from ICLW...hang in there, keep your ears and your heart open, and you never know what solutions may present themselves....

Carrie27 dijo...

You are not alone, that's for sure! In our dream world we would all have plentiful money to do as we please. Why must we enter the real world....can't we just stay and live in our dream world instead?

Wishing you hope and strength to get through this difficult time.

Maddie's family needs your help